Oh, I love the hot Florida sun. Even if I have to make the four hour trek from Miami International Airport to Key West with a bunch of reckless tourists - at least I get a nice view of the water.

You see, I spent the last decade working the streets of New York City. Each day, I would trek in and out of the blessed boroughs with a different driver. Each passenger would bring in different smells, different personalities, different problems. Everyone was angry.

The worst part was the cold winters. My engine would get so cold that it would take me three or four minutes just to get myself warmed up. And, there was all that ice. My windshields, my mirrors, the door handles -- I had ice in every crack. And the drivers didn’t care if they injured me when they broke it off. Why would they? If they didn’t like me they could ditch me after our shift together.

Somehow I got lucky enough to get transferred down here and become an Uber car instead of a regular old taxi cab. I got new tires, my dents were fixed, new brakes and a paint job.

So far, I’m loving it. The streets are nicer and the warm, smooth pavement feels wonderful on my new tires. Sure, they get steamy during the summer months, but it’s worth it.

And this new Uber system is a blessing. My driver (now I only have one), doesn’t have to slam on my brakes to pick up an impatient person who slams my doors. Now the process is easy. It seems like he knows where to go to get a new customer and there’s never a fight about who can get in or how much they owe us.

Then there’s the icing at the top of the cake. When my driver is happy with money to spend, I get treated to luxury bubble baths, fruity perfumes and perhaps even a nice wax. I look brand new again. I smell delicious and the wax keep the rain and sun from damaging my paint. I don’t ever want to go back to the Empire State after living in the Sunshine State.